Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here’s my heart, O take and seal it,
Seal it for Thy courts above.

-Richard Robinson, "Come, Thou Fount of Everying Blessing"

i don't want to go back to school...

:(


i don't feel like seeing preggers and babies.
and oh-oops, i forgot to learn spanish this week.

i don't want to go back to school...

(i'll find a good song to sing these words.)

i feel like i'm on vacation. technically i'm not.
but having received my schedule for the next month, i have no guilt in being quite lazy these days. i'm sure i'll bite my tongue later and regret this.

that's my nephew in korea. oh so cute. i use to make his dad (my cousin) cry because i was such a snob in the playground when we were really young. and now... he is a daddy. my my ...

___

i'm home-home!!
no nice to see a fridge filled with MY food :P (back in my apt, MY food consisted only of milk, cheese, apples, and ketchup... hm, i might also have some mayo and grapefruit in the fridge.)

click here for random pics. i have yet to upload pictures from yesterday. (sorry boms, low on battery. this computer won't let me until it recharges!) i'm so silly with my close friends.
___
addendum: koreans really have a strange "healthy eating" concept. like my mom got coerced into buying a water filter that can alkalinize water for drinking and can add free radicals for washing. like there's actually a button called "ozone" on the filter. and now that my aunt is here from korea, they are drinking hot tea brewed with some mushroom which supposedly enhances your liver function and heals infections. neither of them have liver problems or have infections of any sort. i don't understand.

but i do enjoy the mushroom tea ;) did i ever tell you i had to eat some fermented mushroom yogurt in college for its health benefits per mommy? just for that, i can call myself an obedient child, pleasing to God :)
___
addendum #2: regarding my hair. yes, i did go back to the hair salon the next day. they did a "manicure" on the blond highlights to make them light brown. i still do not love them. 'tis life, eh.

:(
my phone might not live for too long.
not only is it physically damaged, it has mental issues as well-- makes random beeps here and there, changes voices on its own.

i've always been good to it. don't know what happened.
maybe i've used it too much over the past two weeks.
maybe it's a sign.

would anyone like to donate a verizon phone to me? i promise i'll take extra good care of it.... until may 2007. (when i can get a new phone.)
:T

wish me luck tomorrow. i'm meeting with a hotshot surgeon for a recommendation and have to tell him that i've made up my mind not to go into his beloved field. *sigh* ok, maybe i'll say that it's highly likely that i'll go into another field. (that's not any better huh? maybe i'll say i'm still clueless about my life. hm. it's sorta true...)

i hate asking for recommendations.
seriously and really. makes me feel so small.

___
i still have more clothes to fold before i can sleep. this is an endless work...

i think i'm caffeine-high.

i forgot to tell you. i got stabbed 5 times with a needle thanks to a workshop that put me under the mercy of a fellow (clueless) med students. then, i had to call 911 because my roommate's boyfriend was stuck in the elevator. while waiting for the police to rescue the poor guy, i wondered if there were any consequences to dialing 911... like, would they charge me a fee? would i need to sign any legal document acknowledging that i did indeed call for help? do i need to go to a court? yes, i surprise myself with my ignorance.

i'm definitely caffeine-high. uh oh.

i just baked a pie! a real pie from scratch :D i hope i don't burn this one, because it's kinda late for me to make another one.

this is just about the time that i crave another cup of coffee. so tired from doing.. um, nothing much productive or exhausting all day. and i can't sleep yet because there's a pile of clothes on top of my bed that i have yet to fold. and i have to wait for the pie. and i have to wash up ...

*sigh*
so many obstacles in the way of a good night's sleep.
____
half day tomorrow! :P
yes, amy's quite bored with her new schedule ;)

addendum: i'm ending the day on a higher note :)


feeling: thankful.
(xanga-ish, i know.)

the latter half of the day, i had one thought in mind,
'i need a hug.'

i needed a big bear hug.


then i ran into a classmate who asked,
"amy, do you need a hug?"

yes!

but soon after a nice friendly hug, i had to tell my friend,
"dude, you smell.."
"sorry, i was in surgery all day. you looked like you needed a hug real bad though."

i still appreciated the hug.
now i need to vent.
maybe i'll go running.

a reunion and sore fingers

g' morning!

so question for y'all,
what do people do in the morning when they have work that starts at 9:30?
i played with thought of going to the gym at 6am, then i looked at my alarm and it was 6:45. so i figured i would sleep in, but after a bit, that was too hard.
finally i roll out of bed at 8. send a super-express prayer to the Man above, drink my carrot juice and decide to do a 30min exercise with a DVD. then i realize, hm, my long neglected baby looks so lonely at the corner
and he's even tuned up and all..



so i decided to mend the burnt bridge and give him some love.

i'm horrible and terrible at this now. i was only horrible a few years ago but terrible has been added along the way in med school. i can only remember a few basic chords. ('tho i'm proud to say that i remembered Asus!) but all the other 7's, m's, sus and combinations of those... hm. must find that chord sheet.

and my fingers are all sore and red.

and the worst of all, i played because i knew my roomie had left for work already. i wasn't awake enough to remember that her boyfriend would be home. *sigh* how embarrassing.

why do boyfriends have to stay at their girlfriend's all the time? please, sometimes we, the girlfriend's roommates, need some privacy. and some "alone" time.

well, have a wonderful super duper day, peeps.
i know i sound very hyper. pre-coffee, too! i hope this is a good sign since yesterday was such a drag. maybe the 12oz. red meat cured my self-diagnosed anemia. yay me.
____
i know i'll miss these mornings. soon enough.

"It is impossible for us to face Christ's cross with integrity and not to feel ashamed of ourselves. Apathy, selfishness and complacency blossom everywhere in the world except at the cross...

For if there was no way by which the righteous God could righteously forgive our unrighteousness, except that he should bear it himself in Christ, it must be serious indeed. It is only when we see this that, stripped of our self-righteousness and self- satisfaction, we are ready to put our trust in Jesus Christ as the Savior we urgently need"
-"The Cross of Christ" (Leicester and Downers Grove: IVP, 1986)

i'm trying really hard to hold back my tears
because crying over this would be just silly.

but my eyes are already red and nose sniffling.

i hope my hair grows back fast.
i hope these blonde streaks will disappear faster, like tomorrow.

:(

i was going be all mysterious and incognito
but who am i kidding? ;)

exam = done.
me = happy camper.

i actually had to do a little dance in the lobby downstairs and my roommate gave me a funny look. but she understands. and she's jealous... i know it.

i have to say, i think my love for food played a critical role in my decision to move here for the last two years of school. hence, i had to pay its respect and had neng-myun at a korean restaurant. something i would only dream of, and drool had i stayed 90 miles south of where i am.

saw The Inside Man with an old buddy and his new buddy. good movie. Denzel redeemed himself in this movie from the last denzel movie i saw, Out of Time. so disappointed in him and the movie, that i decided to no longer to crush over him and move on. unfortunately i had not found a replacement since.

puzzling me for a while: so, what's with the flip-flops with korean boys? it's as if they never grew out of college dorm life with communal bathrooms. i wonder if it has a cultural component to it. perhaps a "korean" gene that gives them an inkling for adida flip-flops. must be an x-linked sorta thing.

___
re: my last post.. that "dude" ... is a non-existent being that i was frustrated at. i was doing these practice questions (questions that i get about half of them wrong, i might add. did i tell you that my kindergarten teacher once thought i was the smartest kid in class? how wrong she was.) and the answer was lymphangioleiomyomatosis. yup. that really hit the boiling point and i had to vent at something if not someone. out of spite and bitterness, the thought of submitting the word to a local spelling bee did cross my mind... it might make an innocent child cry -- a child, i'm sure, considered very smart by her kindergarten teacher.

dude!


:T

so frustrated!
(in the early hours of the morning, blogging is the best place to vent. no need to wake up people, except my roommate)

i just paid a guy an overpriced fee for coming over early in the morning, just for him to say "hello" to my not-so-well washer!

he lets the washer spin for a bit, sees it drain... all of which did not happen when i was alone. and tells me all is o.k. .. and hand me the bill.

me the helpless one, not knowing how to convince him to look harder, attempts to refute in my husky morning before coffee voice. "so.. what if it doesn't work again? i mean, are you still going to charge the next time if it was misdiagnosed this time???" (couldn't think of a better word. )

*sigh*
i'm sure this is what patients feel when they make appointments with doctors because they feel so ill, only to hear them say, oh it's just a virus. just blow out the junk often and you'll get better in a few days. you can pay the front desk on your way out. ... questions?

ah, the art of making the perfect cup of coffee with not-so-perfect coffee grinds. :D i really need to go to a supermarket soon...

still in my pj's because i don't have to roll into work until 9:30 :) plus, it's even a half-day!! woohoo. and it's a hazy rainy morning, so most likely, i won't get depressed being stuck in a cubicle at the library later.

i took up a challenge yesterday to run a 10miler in an army race. i've always told my friend that i would but kept backing up or missing the registration dates for races so... there's no way out of this. however, i am more concerned than usual, not because i can barely run a mile these days it seems, but also because i have no clue how many mediocre civilian runners there will be to run with. i don't want to be the one trailing behind a flock of army peeps all toned and buffed. well, guess i'll have to be toned and buffed by october! *grin*

have a good... wednesday? oh my.

in the middle of the church service today, i felt like i'm slowly waking up from a long nap. a nap of almost 3 years. my eyes are squinting because of the glaring light before me. but even through these squinty eyes, i can see shadows. can't tell exactly what's in front of me because .. after all, it was a long nap! it will take time for my brain and eyes to adjust. but i'm sure at some point, i'll make sense of it all. it'll be crystal clear. ok, maybe not that clear :) i have great hopes. more than fears.

_______________

somewhat unrelated to the above:


it's true sometimes, i realize. timing is everything in certain situations.
it's like that scene in "my bestfriend's wedding" where julia and her best friend slow-dance on a boat as it cruises under a bridge. that was their perfect time. so short-lived.

wow, that's the most girly post i've written in awhile. right?

_______

tell me we just didn't lose an HOUR for daylight savings!? Man! thought i had a early start but nooooooooo......

why can't the time work with me better? goodness golly.

i'm eating vanilla pudding with whipped cream on top from the cafeteria. i haven't had a pudding in more than a decade, if my memory isn't failing.

i'm not even sure if pudding is very bad for you. i can easily look this up on the internet, but i think i'll pass. it's so good that i know it's bad for me.

remind me to go to the bank later. (hm, that was random... guess i'm reminding myself to go to the bank.)